“What are we supposed to say to the kids?” A teacher asked me Wednesday morning when we arrived on campus. I knew immediately what she meant. News of the school shooting in Uvalde hit too closely to home for us as Central Texans, parents and educators. What are we supposed to say to the kids following something that is difficult for adults to understand? My journey to answering that very challenging question began almost 22 years ago. I began my career with a postdoctoral fellowship in child abuse and trauma in August 2000. Unbeknownst to us at the time, my fellow postdoc and I were 12 months away from being called upon to support children, parents, and teachers through the terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001. Far too often in the intervening years, I have needed to dust off my child trauma psychologist toolbelt to help parents and teachers find ways to soothe their children’s fears while they themselves are grappling with big, heavy emotions. Here is what I know for sure:
"If you are exhausted about your heart's obsession with the fixed past and your mind's focus on the uncertain future your lungs are the perfect place for you. There is no yesterday in your lungs, there is no tomorrow there either. There is only now. There is only inhale. There is only exhale. There is only this moment. There is only breath… and in that breath, you can rest while your heart and head work their relationship out." Poem excerpt from The Anatomy of Peace (John Roedel) *** Years ago, at the very beginning my career, I ran a group for young children who had been exposed to intimate partner violence. The oldest child in the group was six and the other five kids were four or five. We met every Wednesday night from 6:30-8 while their mothers met in their own group to process their traumatic experiences. My group was chaotic, fun, and one of the highlights of my week. I remember teaching them about deep breathing. I had them place a hand on their litt