Counselor's Corner

To a melody played on the strings of our souls And a rhythm that rattled us down to the bone Our love for each other will live on forever In every beat of my proud corazón (heart)   Friday night I watched the Pixar movie Coco with Angel and Giovanni. It is a family favorite. Miguel, a young Mexican boy, is a closeted musician who lives in a family that avoids music because it triggers a multigenerational, family trauma story. The movie is the story of Miguel’s quest to meet his great-great-grandfather, a musician who reportedly abandoned his family to pursue his career dreams. As Miguel gains understanding about his ancestor’s choices, the family’s narrative expands to make space for the love woven through it. The movie is set against the backdrop of the annual Mexican holiday, Día de Muertos (AKA Día de los Muertos). Traditionally, a Mexican family creates a home ofrenda (altar or special place) and decorates it with pictures of loved ones who died and objects that the loved o

  Dear Dr. Ayres, How do I talk to my children about politics and the current election? I find myself struggling with what to say and how to say it. ~ Distracted by Political Divisiveness Dear Distracted: One afternoon in early November of 2016, I picked my boys up from school and learned that their elementary school was having its own presidential election. Donald Trump was running against Hillary Clinton. It was the boys’ first voting election and they were excited. One of them told me which candidate he endorsed and followed with “[Unspecified Friend] told me that [the other candidate] doesn’t like people like me and my brother.” I realized immediately that I needed a plan because it seemed the other parents were not sheltering their children, as I was, from the political rhetoric that characterized 2016’s divisive election. That night, after the boys went to sleep, I began thinking about how to have political conversations with my young children. I started by reminding my

Undaunted: I bravely move forward even when things are hard or disappointing.  As we bring our three-week exploration of the core value “Undaunted” to a close, I find myself reflecting on the ground we covered – the myths we identified, the barriers to being brave, and how these myths and barriers arise in daily life. And I find myself returning to one of the Undaunted truths: Being undaunted is hard. We rarely are called upon to be undaunted when it would be convenient or when our self-efficacy is high. Usually, we need to summon our undaunted spirit when inadequacy, sadness, or anxiety inspire our well-intended, inner critics to spin a negative monologue that immobilizes us. A successful antidote for the negative monologue is to reach for another voice that calms and stabilizes us. I realize that I missed an Undaunted myth in our SUPERHEROIC Skills curriculum: Being undaunted means that I handle Life’s hard moments alone.  The accompanying truth to this myth is: We aren’t int

  This summer I revisited the Chinese story of the farmer who planted bamboo seeds that took five years to grow. The story ends when the farmer had an abundant forest of 90-foot bamboo trees. I found myself wanting to explore what happened after he was rewarded for his resilient dedication to nurturing seeds that were slow to break the surface. *** Once upon a time, there was a bamboo farmer who had worked very hard to prepare his crops to sell at a fair in the neighboring town. The farmer had cared for his bamboo with great devotion and attention. As a result of his care, his bamboo was beautiful – tall, elegant stalks that were as green as a field of grass after a rainstorm. His bamboo smelled like the rain and the soil that had nourished it from seeds to sprouts until it was as taller than a house. He knew that others would admire his bamboo and want to buy it. The day came for the farmer to load his bamboo on his wagon and take it to the fair. He attached his old mule Mirabel

  “Okay. We’re going to play a game. Is everybody ready?” Seven fourth-grade heads nodded. “Before we get started, let me ask a question. Does anyone know what a ‘myth’ is?” “It’s a story that got made up?” “Yes. That’s one type of myth. Sometimes it’s a story that got made up and everyone knows it never happened. A lot of times, though, a myth means that something has been said so many times that people believe it is true, but it isn’t actually.” Seven heads nodded. “So, here’s the game. I’m going to read a card out loud and you tell me if it’s a myth or a truth about being undaunted.”  I grabbed the first one. “Undaunted people aren’t afraid and they never cry. Is that a truth or a myth?” Seven hands made emphatic thumbs-down gestures to indicate a myth. “Really?” They nodded. “Why?” Andrea (all student names altered to protect identity) spoke up. “That’s not true! Everybody gets afraid and cries sometimes.” “Even if they’re undaunted?” She nodded empathically. “So, a per