Counselor's Corner

My grandparents often had a jigsaw puzzle on their dining room table. They opted for the puzzles with 1000s of pieces and intricate scenes that required patience, diligence, and perseverance. They introduced me to jigsaw puzzles when I was very young and my little girl fingers worked alongside their bigger, grown-up ones. My grandmother approached a new puzzle by tackling one part of the puzzle at a time and then linking completed parts when they overlapped. She would enthusiastically celebrate when two separate parts combined to form something larger. My grandfather, on the other hand, had a different style. He was a civil engineer whose approach was calm and systematic. He started with one piece, scanned the entire table until he found the adjacent one, linked those two, and then looked for the next adjacent piece. His approach, which later would guide me through high school math, was steady and consistent (“Just one step at a time, Jenny. One step at a time”).    I had a flashback t

  Ever-Evolving: I challenge myself to expand my comfort zone by learning new ideas, honoring diversity, and seeking new experiences.   *** In 8 Habits of Love: Overcome Fear and Transform Your Life , the author told the story of a workshop facilitated by Dr. Betty Sue Flowers, a gifted writer and English professor. During an exercise, Dr. Flowers encouraged audience members to write their autobiographical sketches from three different perspectives: (1) The victim, (2) the hero, and (3) the learner. I immediately was drawn to this exercise. For years I have told clients that how we talk to ourselves and the stories we create about life events shape our reality. When we find ourselves negatively rehashing life events and using pessimistic self-talk, we fuel cognitive negativity, which in turn stimulates helplessness, frustration, disappointment, and anxiety. On the other hand, when we use self-compassion and optimism during difficult times, we fuel hope, perseverance, and a growth

  Dear Angel and Giovanni, It is very early Thursday morning on November 5, 2020. The presidential election is still unknown as we await final vote counting. Uncertainty swirls around us and it brings anxiety, resentment, and sadness. What the election has shown beyond doubt is not dependent on final vote tallying: We are divided as a nation. Regardless of the election outcomes, our country is hurting and has been in pain for a long time. As I sat, grappling with big questions about what this divide means for us as a country, for you, and for your generation, Wendell Berry’s beautiful poem “The Peace of Wild Things” arose.  When despair grows in me and I wake in the night at the least sound in fear of what my life and my children's lives may be, I go and lie down where the wood drake rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds. I come into the peace of wild things who do not tax their lives with forethought of grief. I come into the presence of still wa