Counselor's Corner

May you build a ladder to the stars And climb on every one And may you stay Forever young.                ~ Forever Young (Bob Dylan)   *** In 2007, I was part of the wave of California dwellers who trekked across the country to Austin, hoping for a similarly-minded locale with a lower cost of living. I was single, no kids, and knew that eventually I’d be adding “mom” to my list of roles. Thus, as soon as my realtor pulled her car into the driveway, the two-story, brown house with the porch swing that was located across the street from the neighborhood park called to me. I envisioned nights of finishing dinner and then crossing the street to allow my children playground time before bed.   Fast forward several years and I was a single mother of toddler twin boys. As predicted, they loved to go to the park and play on the playground. I quickly learned that taking toddler twins to an unfenced park that is bordered by a popular freeway detour was not worth the mama anxiety it provoked. Whe

  Dear Dr. Ayres,    I’m overwhelmed, angry, and disheartened by the news and unsure if I should tell my kids what’s going on in other parts of the country or the world...or if it’s better to say nothing. When is it okay to not share and how much is too much to share? Parenting During Upsetting Current Events   Dear Parenting:   Your question is a good one to consider as we struggle with the emotional distress associated with big issues like discrimination, injustice, climate change and COVID. “When do I share and when do I shield?” is a question all parents find ourselves wondering as we try to balance day-to-day parenting responsibilities and big life issues that surround us. When I find myself wondering whether or not to discuss a current event with children, I typically rely on a series of steps that guide my decision-making and facilitate developmentally-appropriate communication.    1.  Settle your own nervous system first.  Close your eyes, put your hand over your heart and ask

Several months ago, I was attempting to work at our breakfast room table while Giovanni was in the living room watching a YouTuber play Minecraft. I found myself distracted by the intrusion of this stranger’s voice, impulse control, and noise into our space. I looked across the half-wall that separates our breakfast room and living room, hoping to make eye contact before I requested that Giovanni turn down the volume. He was watching TV, laughing, stroking the dog’s head and thoroughly enjoying his present moment. I had a flashback to him as a two-year-old child, in a similar position on a different couch, petting a different dog, and laughing while watching Sesame Street. I realized that it’s been a long time since Giovanni watched Sesame Street or needed me to strap him into a car seat with a five-point harness. He’s growing up…and I am too. I didn’t want to intrude on his present moment and his happiness. I found myself wanting to join him in it.   I got up, walked into the living r

Happy April, everyone! This week’s blog is a return to one of my favorites – Free Fish and Priceless Life Lessons. As an update (two plus years later), we still have fish. We are on our third round of three fish (Cobra, Orca, and Sunny) and I know more about fish-keeping and, more importantly, aquarium water-tending than I did in the fall of 2019 when I wrote these words. I still have no regrets about saying “Yes.” Ubuntu, friends. Jennifer *** Free Fish and Priceless Life Lessons   “So, Mom, if we won a fish at the booth, would you let us take it home?” I took a deep breath and braced myself for what I knew was coming.   “Yes.” Angel held up his ticket and grinned at me. Then he ran off and I heard him call to his brother -- “She said we could take them home if we won them!”   We left Fall Fest with two fish and picked up a third in the parking lot from a friend (and her grateful mother). We went to Petco and bought $112 worth of fish supplies for the three “free” fish. We went home a

This week’s  Counselor’s Corner is a blog I wrote for our faculty newsletter during Summer Term 2020. I reread it this morning, nine months after I wrote it, and found myself smiling as the gentle wisdom of Wendell Berry settled around me like a comfortable sweater and a warm mug of tea.  *** When despair for the world grows in me and I wake in the night at the least sound in fear of what my life and my children’s lives may be, I go and lie down where the wood drake rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds. I come into the peace of wild things who do not tax their lives with forethought of grief. I come into the presence of still water. And I feel above me the day-blind stars waiting with their light. For a time I rest in the grace of the world, and am free. -          The Peace of Wild Things (Wendell Berry)   This poem was taped to the wall by my desk for at least 10 of the 12 years I worked at the Blackstock Family Health Center. When I needed centering, I slowed