Counselor's Corner

  “Mommy, I need to take a quarter to school tomorrow.” Five-year-old Giovanni’s eyes were dancing when I picked him up from aftercare that day.    “Why?”   “So I can win the unicorn.”    Between Giovanni and his twin brother Angel’s kindergarten-speak explanation, I learned the following: Their school was holding a raffle to raise money for the annual Halloween carnival. One of the items was a stuffed unicorn.   “Tell me about the unicorn.”    “It’s beautiful, Mommy. It has the most beautiful eyes I’ve ever seen. And I love it.”    “That sounds beautiful. Do you understand how a raffle works? There will be a lot of tickets and only one gets picked. It might be someone else’s ticket that gets picked.”    He nodded. “I’m going to win. Because I love it.”    I remember my deep inhale and exhaled sigh as I helped him into the car. I silently lamented that my version of Life’s parenting manual lacked a section on how to support a hopeful kindergartner through the harsh reality of a school

I close my eyes and breathe into the moment. My boat is gently floating across a calm sea. A gentle breeze ruffles my hair and my body sways with the waves. I open my eyes and smile at the blue waves underneath my boat. I feel peaceful. It is a good moment and I celebrate it.   I feel the wind pick up slightly and the breeze brings a different sensation that is not altogether unpleasant. I hear a soft whisper and lean in to listen. It is the voice of Uncertainty.  This can’t last. What’s going to happen next? Don’t you think it would have been safer to stay on the shore?  Uncertainty’s voice gets louder with each thought and I look down to the waves, which have sped up as the wind churns them. The blue waves now carry paintbrush strokes of Anxiety, which add a light orange hue to the water. Although no longer floating on a calm, blue sea, my boat feels steady, and the wind and water feel manageable.    A second voice joins Uncertainty’s: Self-Doubt. Self-Doubt is a powerful voice that

Dear Dr. Ayres,    This year has been so disappointing for my kids! Spring break and summer plans were canceled. Halloween canceled. No Turkey Trot and our Zoom Thanksgiving wasn’t the same as the big, family gathering we typically have. Any suggestions on what we could do to bring joy that doesn’t cost a lot of money and would honor social distancing? Disappointed in December    Dear Disappointed in December:   One of my favorite holiday traditions is the Advent calendar, which counts down the days from December 1 st  to Christmas. Advent calendars are fun and I’m enjoying watching my children experience the same daily thrill I had as a child when I carefully opened each paper door to reveal a hidden treasure. I think the calendars are also meaningful reminders that time moves forward and we need to pause every day to honor that we are edging closer to the end of another year.   2020 gives us a chance to try new traditions because our typical ways of celebrating holidays are different